Dr Jim's Periglobal Perambulations: The Antipodes

Leaving south east Asia we both lamented that the 'proper' travelling was seemingly over. It was back to a diet of Western food, Western values and Western society. And Western prices. There has been no recession in Asia and this has broadly been reflected by Australia fast becoming the most expensive country in the world.

Quite

Starting in the sub tropical city of Cairns, we were already thinking about time. It was going to be a whistle-stop tour, partly because of the cost of being in the place, and partly because the end of our trip, or at least the flights back to London were looming. Cairns was not a particularly noteworthy place for me. It has nothing that distinguishes it from any other small scale city aside from its proximity to the great barrier reef, which we paid an exorbitant amount of money to dive the day after we arrived. This was one of my 'must do' experiences before I set off, but in the end it was a bit disappointing. We were treated a bit like a production line on the boat, which would have been OK if it weren't for the fact that the actual diving wasn't that great either. I think we were unlucky with the weather or any number of other factors, which was a shame. The Cook Islands and Thailand were better.

We were bound for Brisbane, Sydney and then Melbourne, all on a hop-on hop-off bus. Many overnight bus journeys to be endured. Thankfully we had sedatives. Travelling is very easy in Australia, to the extent that there's an entire industry set up around it. That's ok, and for the crowds of 18-25 year olds we met en route I expect it is reassuring, but us (and I have my tongue firmly in my cheek here) 'seasoned' travellers probably find it a bit dull. There's little that can go wrong and little to really plan. The hostels do it all for you. First stop was the Whitsunday Islands via a visit to Airlee Beach and our sail boat the 'Waltzing Matilda'. This was an awesome experience for me. I love sailing and spending a couple of days buzzing around the many islands that make up the Whitsundays was pleasant and refreshing. The main attraction here is the view from Turtle point, down on to the sweeping aquamarine waters and beach, which make for a pretty sweet photo.

Turtle Point, Whitsunday Islands

Stinger suits. I ended up taking it off. Just seems a bit ridiculous going in the sea with one of those on.

Then a swim in the sea, donning a 'stinger suit' before getting in the water, which is meant to protect you from potentially lethal jellyfish stings. The Aussies love making unwitting tourists believe that their country is full of predatory flora and fauna whose prime purpose in life is to kill or seriously harm you. The problem with this is that it is partly true. 70% of all lethal-to-human species reside in Australia so there is a higher than average risk at a basic level. But having written this after leaving, I didn't at any time see anything remotely dangerous.

A few snorkelling trips and long boat ride later we were deposited back on the shore at Airlee beach and onto the bus that wended its way down overnight to Hervey Bay, which is the jump off point for Fraser Island. This island is one of the world's largest sand islands. It's pretty big. And pretty sandy too. It's easiest to visit by a pre-arranged tour. The roads all being sand, four wheel drive vehicles are essential, and even then you need some experience to drive them. Thankfully we were driven by a man who probably stood out as one of the defining characters of the Australia trip. I can't actually remember his real name. I probably never knew it. He is called, variously by the different groups of people he takes around the island, Santa, Gimli son of Gloin, or Gandalf. Great character. Absolutely no shame or reserve. He must be in his sixties I guess, with all the lack of reticence that age can bestow. He does what he likes, and he likes what he does. Which involves copious quantities of booze, and a passable impression of a digeridoo. So, the night of our tour on Fraser Island turned into a momentous piss up, primarily driven by what the Aussies call 'goon', but which we could call, unimaginatively, boxes of cheap wine. Wine, I guess, is one of the few things that is reasonably priced here. I'm sure you could fairly cheaply drink yourself to death here, which as it turns out is a problem in modern day Australia. Especially on goon, which tastes remarkably similar to the stuff in bottles but costs half as much. Anyway we got drunk on it. Some of us more than others…!

An adventure though Fraser island is, it's not the knock-out destination the Whitsundays are. We saw some dingos, which looked like wild dogs, and went for a swim in one of the lakes formed from rainwater. Took some pretty pictures and went for a swim in the champagne pool, which is a rock pool over which the waves send their spume (yes, spume) at the right point of the tide, making the surface bubbly and frothy like champagne. And some weird seaweed that spurted water if you pressed it. A few more sub-tropical rainforest walks and some time spent wading down a freshwater stream and it was time to head back across on the ferry, whose only permanent resident is an old and bad tempered cat who is there to catch the rats. I liked him/her.

Santa and the gang, Fraser Island

A dingo, Fraser Island

Onwards to Brisbane and to stay with a friend we had met in Cape Town. All hail Beaver, and his awesome Grandma Ailsa, who fed us and sheltered us for the best part of a week. Sometimes when you're travelling it's nice just to stop for a while and be in one place. It helps you recover your sense of identity a bit, which I found tended to slip away as we went from one place to the next to the next to the next etc. A strange feeling really. I think the constant change makes your brain take a step back, or at least forces it into a different mode where only the most immediate priorities get processed. Whereas back in the UK with all the familiarity of that, my head seems to work a bit better...no not better...just different.

Brisbane is a proper city. In some ways it feels like London, just not on the same scale (and with much warmer weather). The river winding through the city is quite like the Thames and they even have a riverside area that is similar to the South Bank in London, with it's own slightly smaller ferris wheel. A beautiful botanical garden, some panorama shots, koalas, kangaroos, a catchup with one of Ro's antipodean friends and a visit to the lacklustre Surfer's paradise, and we were off down to Byron bay.

I think if I lived anywhere in Aus it would have to be here, or somewhere like it. The feel is different. More relaxed, less frenetic. A gentrified hippy feel. We celebrated Ro's birthday by going skydiving, which I've done before but which is always an amazing experience. It's the first bit, when your tandem sky diver rolls with you out of the plane and you tumble over in the air and look up and the plane looks like it is dropping away from you, rather than the reverse. A sensational feeling, and then coming into the free fall position, arms out, legs back, torso towards the earth, plummeting down but with no sign, other than the air slamming into your face, to indicate that you are actually falling. I think the free fall only lasts a minute or so, then the parachute is pulled and you spend 10 minutes or so gliding down to earth, and a sense of relief. The relief is a bit superfluous though; you aren't in any particular danger. My instructor had been doing it 10 times a day for the last 17 years. What a trooper. Stunning scenery. Great experience. Over before breakfast. Expensive (very). Worth it though. No pictures for me this time, but just to whet your appetite here's some from when I skydived in Wanaka in New Zealand in 2003.

Byron Bay

Straight on down to Sydney. I've been here before. It's a pulsing, thriving metropolis with lots going on. Ro's friend Minea put us up for a few nights (thank you) and showed us some sights. Manly, the opera house, the powerhouse museum, Palm beach and a visit to the drag act hotel which inspired the film Priscilla, Queen of the Desert (the drag act wasn't up to scratch unfortunately). Anyone could live in Sydney I suppose. It’s very inoffensive and pleasant. But, like many places in Aus for me, just not that inspiring. I really don’t want to do the place down, but it just feels a lot of the time like America, but not the interesting America on the East coast. More the self-satisfied but ultimately rather empty America that tends to predominate further west…or maybe I was just in a bad mood. It’s the second time I’ve been to Aus though, and I did feel this before…I’ll probably end up living there. Such are the ironies of life.

Generic Opera House shot

Les Girls. At least she did it, and did it her way.

And then down to the final stop Melbourne, which is more my style I guess. More European. A bit more quirky. A bit more genuine attitude. A lot more style. And a lot chillier too. We kitted ourselves out with jeans, fleeces and trainers. The first time I have needed a pair of jeans or a pair of shoes since about June 2011. That’s a thought. My feet have been in the open air for nearly a year. And they don’t smell. Odd that.

Melbourne

And then off across the pond to New Zealand, flying into Auckland for a few days before setting off in a hire car around the North Island. New Zealand is best described as nature on steroids. The greens are greener, the blues bluer, the air clearer, the mountains snowier, the water deeper, the hills...hillier. Driving around this place is like being on some sort of fairground ride with amazing views. In terms of sheer jaw-dropping natural beauty moments per unit time travelled, I don't think New Zealand can be beaten. Not by anywhere I've been anyway. I could live here, but it would mean being 12,000 miles away from everything and everyone that means so much to me. It is an amazing place, stunning to a degree unrivalled, and I hope passionately that it stays that way. There are 3 million people in New Zealand now, which doesn't sound much, except that it's a 50% increase since I was here a little over 10 years ago. So we'll see.

The photos speak for New Zealand, more than my prose ever could. We visited the Coromandel peninsula, hot water beach and wanganui before deciding to split up for a while. I went up to Cape Reinga to revisit a place I'd fallen in love with 10 years before, and Ro flew off to the South Island, where it was now mid-winter, and since I'd been there before I decided I preferred to spend an additional week at what, for me, was the destination of destinations and somewhere I have wanted to go for a very long time, the Cook Islands in the South Pacific. The final destination, but still 12,000 miles from home.